If I had to choose between my wife and my putter... well, I’d miss her.
Engage (The fall and rise of Matt Hampson),
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Paul Kimmage , London, Simon and Schuster, 2011. ISBN: 978-1-84737-270-3
This is simply an amazing book; a great story brilliantly told. The book’s subtitle gives the clue that it is a very positive story of how Matt Hampson coped with life when a collapsed scrum left him paralysed. To ask if Paul Kimmage writes well is rather in the: “is the pope a catholic” category.
The style of the book is unusual but works well. Much of it is transcripts of the official enquiry. There are Matt’s reflections on his current state and his recall of events earlier in his life. Together it pieces together the story of Matt Hampson’s fall and rise.
There are fascinating sub-plots like how the family copes – balancing normal life with caring for Matt. The issue of his girlfriend who visited and then stopped coming. The family’s disappointment with the RFU and the ridiculous offer of a ticket but no car-park pass at Twickenham. Matt and the family’s negative impression of Stoke Mandeville is another.
The essence of Matt’s life is summed up in a description by the writer: “By the autumn of 2010 we had reached the finishing straight and I spent six weeks writing the final chapters at his home in Cold Overton. It was a special time, not because we had finished but because it enabled me to appreciate the guts and courage and spirit that make him special. It takes three hours of washing and wiping and winching and suctioning to get him out of bed every day. But stand outside his bedroom door any morning and you’ll hear his carers laughing and his music blaring and his little Jack Russell, Alfie, licking his face. This is the gospel according to Hambo…’Get busy living or get busy dying.’”
Matt’s humour abounds. A friend decides to take him to the pub. He comments: “Expeditions have travelled to Everest with less equipment”. There are several instances of him introducing people to other residents of Stoke Mandeville with the comment that he is so fortunate to be so much better that they are.
The inability to control his bowels is part of life. He can easily be caught short. One such situation is described in detail in a way guaranteed to have you in stitches. Eventually he decided the only thing to do is to put his trousers in a bin-bag and drop them in a bin. A little while later he realizes his mobile is in the pocket!
There are some deep reflections. After visiting Buckingham Palace he reflects on how the queen is unable to venture outside the gates of the Palace. He goes on, “we are both prisoners of sorts. She must have looked at me and thought: I wouldn’t want to be him. And I was driving home thinking exactly the same about her”. Or…
“Sometimes, when the road is lone; and the gentle rocking of the van induces one of those deep and almost comatose sleeps, I will open my eyes to my reflection in the window with no memory of how I got here. Why am I in a wheelchair? How the fuck did this happen to me? Then the penny will drop and I’ll start to feel really sorry for myself..Why me?”.
The assisted suicide of Dan James leads to the deepest reflection in the book. The question is asked who has more courage – “Did I truly cherish life or was I too scared to die? … Dan and I were suddenly opposite sides of a coin. Heads or tails? Pick a side. Who had more courage? The prop boy who chose to live or the boy who chose to die?”