"It matters a great deal who is going to win, but not at all who won"
Among the fans
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Patrick Collins, London, Wisden Sports Writing and John Wisden and Co, 2011. ISBN 978 I 4081 30414
The concept of the book is to attend 13 sports events and to try to see them as the fans do. Wimbledon, the Ryder Cup, the Adelaide Test and the World Cup in South Africa are obvious ones, Eastbourne Speedway, the Sussex point-to-point, Crayford Dogs and Darts less so. Patrick Collins meets some amazing people like an 80 year-old lady who comes to the snooker every year or the lady who has been coming to the speedway for 35 years!
The book stands by the author’s ability to observe and describe what is happening. He grasps the essence of darts, “a conviction lurking somewhere in the corner of every mind that says: ‘It could have been me’”. Again he brilliantly sums up the fan’s relationship with the pro in his description of a golfer’s duffed chip. “Everybody watching has made such a mistake a hundred times before. But only Hunter Mahan has done it with the Ryder Cup at stake”.
And he argues for the superiority of greyhounds over humans in that “Not one of the dogs or bitches here tonight will go home, push aside that meal and reproach itself for a sluggish start, an ill-timed finish, a general failure to try that bit harder. And even if they did feel that way, they couldn’t let us know”.
The author has clearly enjoyed his tour of the great sporting venues and has been diligent in his choice. “I chose Eastbourne because it seemed the most unlikely town to house a speedway team”.
He adds with tangible relief the reassurance that “ the Eastbourne speedway track may be found a discreet distance from the town, some ten miles north of Beachy Head and the waving palms”.
There are some great one- liners.
Of two darts players: “Both men are staggeringly good at what they do. Whether it is a skill worth acquiring is an open question.”
On USA’s goal against England: “The sight of [Rob]Green turning and scrambling to redeem his mistake, like a deranged batsman trying to repair his broken stumps, instantly became one of the defining images of England’s World Cup”.
Tim Henman “only ever encountered one of Kipling’s twin impostors, and it wasn’t Triumph”.
Of David Mellor he writes: “After years spent in the service of Margaret Thatcher’s Conservative Party, he was perfectly at ease with the ‘greed is good’ ethos of the emerging Premier League”.
The FedEx Cup is “a competition that allows sponsors with more money than taste to smother the players in dollar bills”.
American golfer, Rickie Fowler, we learn “sounds like an East Enders extra”.
Food is an essential part of a day-out at a sports event. It is not neglected here. The description of the purchase of a pie – “a great mistake” – at the darts is worth the price of the book alone. After one bite, dramatically he deposits it in the bin among “the debris of several similar feasts, glowing sickly, like nuclear waste”.