"It matters a great deal who is going to win, but not at all who won"
Season of Life
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Season of Life, Jeffrey Marx, Simon and Schuster, New York, 2004 ISBN 0-7432 6974 -8
When journalist Jeffery Marx who had been a ball-boy for the Baltimore Colts, begins contacting the old players for a story he is writing, the encounter with Joe Ehrmann has a deeper effect than he can imagine.
When his brother died, it had a profound effect on Joe. It started him down a new path in which he combined his theological training and inner-city ministerial work, to develop the philosophy behind Building Men for Others. He put much of it into practice as a coach at Gilman School.
The philosophy of coaching is summed up as "I am part of a football program in Baltimore, and we use this as our base philosophy. Our understanding is that sports - football - is nothing more than a context to help connect with boys and teach them, one, a clear and compelling definition of what it means to be a man. Second is to give them a code of conduct for manhood. And then third is to help them figure out what their own unique, transcendent cause should or could be in this world." Page 34
The interaction with the team is illustrated in the mantra repeated every meeting
"What is our job as coaches?"
"To love us"
"What is your job?"
"To love each other"
Page 3 Everyone who wants to play in the team plays. A player would never be cut based on the level of his athletic ability but would be instantly suspended for behavioural issues such as drink or mistreating a girl. Page 52
Joe sees the major problem for men is a misunderstood masculinity. Joe discussed the three components of what he termed 'false masculinity': athletic ability, sexual conquest, an economic success. After debunking the supposed value that triumvirate, he introduced his own paradigm for masculinity. "Masculinity, first and foremost, ought to be defined in terms of relationships,Joe said. "It ought to be taught in terms of the capacity to love and to be loved". Page 36
Boys are told to be men by people who have no idea what it means to be men. Page 70 For Joe
The test of a man is how good are his relationships (Page 99). The 4 characteristics of a man built for others are:.
He accepts responsibility
He leads courageously.
He enacts justice on behalf of others.
He expects God's greater rewards. Page 140
The philosophy is worked out in a school football season where there are more important things that winning but the team wins a lot. One game when they were behind at half-time, Joe gave this team talk: "'You know why Coach Poggi is so upset with you?' Joe began. 'Because he really loves you.' Everything going on in the world, it's a beautiful day, you're young, healthy, and you're just not bringing your talents', Joe said. 'It ain't right. Bring what you got, for crying out loud. Bring what you got, start playing like you love each other, and we'll have a great second half". Page 94